We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail

One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don`t know what they`d do with it.

Probably put it in open trenches and set it on fire.

— Dave Barry, The Ultimate Deterrent against Political Fallout