I think we can all agree that this is very important.
We need our highest judicial body to stop this childish bickering and get back to debating the kinds of weighty constitutional issues that have absorbed the court in recent years, such as whether a city can legally force an exotic dancer to cover her entire nipple, or just the part that pokes out.
— Dave Barry, Dave Barry is Not Making This Up
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail
One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don`t know what they`d do with it.
Probably put it in open trenches and set it on fire.
— Dave Barry, The Ultimate Deterrent against Political Fallout
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
But Now You Know
Words of the Sentient 