The federal government of the United States of America takes away between a fifth and a quarter of all our money every year. That is eight times the Islamic zakat, the almsgiving required of believers by the Koran; it is double the tithe of the medieval church and twice the royal tribute that the prophet Samuel warned the Israelites against when they wanted him to annount a ruler…
…remember that all tax revenue is the result of holding a gun to somebody’s head.
Not paying taxes is against the law. If you don’t pay taxes, you’ll be fined. If you don’t pay the fine, you’ll be jailed. If you try to escape from jail, you’ll be shot.
Thus I:
- in my role as citizen and voter
- am going to shoot you
- in your role as taxpayer and ripe suck
- if you don’t pay your fair share of the national tab.
Therefore, every time the government spends money on anything, you have to ask yourself, “Would I kill my kindly, gray-haired mother for this?”
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Tags: income tax, o'rourke, parliament of whores, quotations, quotes, taxes, taxpayer, tea party
One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it’s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver’s license.
– P. J. O’Rourke, Rolling Stone Magazine, November 1989
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Usually, writers will do anything to avoid writing.
For instance, the previous sentence was written at one o’clock this afternoon. It is now a quarter to four. I have spent the past two hours and forty-five minutes:
- Sorting my neckties by width,
- looking up the word paisly in three dictionaries,
- attempting to find the town of that name on The New York Times Atlas of the World map of Scotland,
- sorting my reference books by width,
- trying to get the bookcase to stop wobbling by stuffing a matchbook cover under its corner,
- dialing the telephone number on the matchbook cover to see if I should take computer courses at night,
- looking at the computer ads in the newspaper and deciding to buy a computer because writing seems to be so difficult on my old Remington,
- reading an interesting article on sorghum farming in Uruguay that was in the newspaper next to the computer ads,
- cutting that and other interesting articles out of the newspaper,
- sorting – by width – all the interesting articles I’ve cut out of newspapers recently,
- fastening them neatly together with paper clips and making a very attractive paper clip necklace and bracelet set…
…which I will present to my girlfriend as soon as she comes home from the three-hour low-impact aerobic workout that I made her go to so I could have some time alone to write.
– P.J. O’Rourke, The Wit and Wisdom of P. J. O’Rourke
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Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule.
- Every meal would be a pizza.
- Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim.
- Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library.
- And – since women are a majority of the population- we’d all be married to Mel Gibson.
– P.J.O’Rourke, Parliament of Whores (1991)
The Tyranny of the Majority, vs the Unanimity of Liberty
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Greenpeace fund-raisers on the subject of global warming are not much different than tribal wizards on the subject of lunar eclipses. “Oh no, the Night Wolf is eating the Moon Virgin. Give me some silver and I’ll make him spit her out.”
– P.J.O’Rourke, All the Trouble in the World
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If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.
– P. J. O’Roarke, The Liberty Manifesto
Who Are the 47 Million Uninsured?
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…remember that all tax revenue is the result of holding a gun to somebody’s head.
Not paying taxes is against the law. If you don’t pay taxes, you’ll be fined. If you don’t pay the fine, you’ll be jailed. If you try to escape from jail, you’ll be shot.
Thus I:
- in my role as citizen and voter
- am going to shoot you
- in your role as taxpayer and ripe suck
- if you don’t pay your fair share of the national tab.
Therefore, every time the government spends money on anything, you have to ask yourself, “Would I kill my kindly, gray-haired mother for this?”
Like this:
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Tags: o'rourke, taxes, taxpayer, tea party
Words of the Sentient 