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The Founders’ Complaints Still Apply <– P.J. O’Rourke

05 Jul

“‘This is living!’ ‘I gotta be me!’ ‘Ain’t we got fun!’ It’s all there in the Declaration of Independence. We are the only nation in the world based on happiness. Search as you will the Maga Charta, the /Communist Manifesto/, the Ten Commandments, the Analects of Confucius, Plato’s /Republic/, the New Testament or the UN Charter, and find me any happiness at all.

There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence.

To modern ears they still sound reasonable, in large part, because so many of them can be leveled against the federal government of the United States.

— P.J.O’Rourke, Parliament of Whores (1991)

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2012 in Humor, Liberty, Politics

 

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Killin’ Grandma for Money <– P. J. O’Rourke

20 Dec

The federal government of the United States of America takes away between a fifth and a quarter of all our money every year. That is eight times the Islamic zakat, the almsgiving required of believers by the Koran; it is double the tithe of the medieval church and twice the royal tribute that the prophet Samuel warned the Israelites against when they wanted him to annount a ruler…

…remember that all tax revenue is the result of holding a gun to somebody’s head.

Not paying taxes is against the law. If you don’t pay taxes, you’ll be fined. If you don’t pay the fine, you’ll be jailed. If you try to escape from jail, you’ll be shot.

Thus I:

  • in my role as citizen and voter
  • am going to shoot you
  • in your role as taxpayer and ripe suck
  • if you don’t pay your fair share of the national tab.

Therefore, every time the government spends money on anything, you have to ask yourself, “Would I kill my kindly, gray-haired mother for this?”

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2011 in economic, Politics

 

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Majority Rule <- P.J. O'Rourke

29 Aug

1sausage_pepperoni_med_cczoomImagine if all of life were determined by majority rule.

  • Every meal would be a pizza.
  • Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim.
  • Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library.
  • And – since women are a majority of the population- we’d all be married to Mel Gibson.

– P.J.O’Rourke, Parliament of Whores (1991)

But Now You Know

The Tyranny of the Majority, vs the Unanimity of Liberty

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2009 in Humor, Politics

 

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